朋友圈幽默的英文句子

1、熬夜对身体不好 , 所以我建议你通宵 。
Staying up late is not good for your health, so I suggest you stay up all night.
2、我胖了才显得你瘦 , 免得我瘦的时候显得你丑 。
I am fat to look thin, so that I don't look ugly when I am thin.
3、黑夜给了我一双黑色的眼睛 , 可我却用它来翻白眼 。
The night gave me a pair of black eyes, but I used it to turn white eyes.
4、谈一次恋爱 , 少一个朋友 。
A love, less friends.
5、当初说好的不让我受一点委屈 , 果然不止一点点 。
I was not wronged by what I said at the beginning, and it was indeed more than a little.
6、你是最好的 , 如果真有人比你好 , 我就装作没看见 。
You are the best. If someone is better than you, I pretend I haven't seen it.
7、从来都不用化妆品 , 我保持年轻的秘诀就是 , 谎报年龄 。
I never use cosmetics. The secret to keep young is to lie about my age.
8、青春就是疯狂的奔跑 , 然后华丽的跌倒 。
Youth is crazy running, then gorgeous fall.
9、爱情就像打篮球 , 有进攻有防守 , 有时还会有假动作!
Love is like playing basketball, there is attack and defense, sometimes there will be fake action!
10、小时候的我梦想有很多 , 可现在我只想发财 。
I dreamed a lot when I was a child, but now I just want to get rich.
11、遇见了你 , 我才知道恐龙其实是可以再次出现的 。
I met you before I knew that dinosaurs could actually reappear.
12、装什么城里人 , 现在地球都叫村 。
What kind of city people are installed, the earth is called village now.
13、会演戏的不一定都是演员 , 会装的一定就是孙子 。
It is not all actors who can act, but grandchildren who will pretend.
14、天冷了 , 你穿的再多 , 心里要是没有我 , 还是冻死你 。
It's cold. You wear more. If you don't have me, you will freeze to death.
15、站在人生的米字路口 , 我更加彷徨 。
Standing at the intersection of rice characters in life, I am more hesitant.
16、猛的一看你不怎么样 , 仔细一看还不如猛的一看 。
A fierce look at you is not so, a careful look is not as fierce a look.
17、人生像打电话 , 不是你先挂就是我先挂 。
Life is like calling, either you hang up first or I hang up first.
18、等我有钱了 , 我就带我最讨厌的人去最好的神经病院!
When I have money, I will take the most hated people to the best neurosurgery!
19、生活不止眼前的苟且 , 还有前任发来的请帖 。
Life is not only meticulous, but also invitations from the predecessors.
20、不要和我比懒 , 我懒得和你比!
Don't be lazy with me, I'm lazy to compare with you!
21、女生晒照的自我修养:自拍三千只取一张 。
Self cultivation of girls' sunshine: take only one of 3000 photos.
22、各位看官 , 我就想弱弱的问一句:超能吃算不算超能力?
Dear officials, I would like to ask a weak question: is it not super ability to eat super ability?
23、好不容易习惯了自己的长相 , 理了个发 , 又换了一种丑法 。
I was used to my appearance, I had a hair, and I changed my ugly way.
24、我的钱虽然不是大风刮来的 , 但是很像大风刮走的 。
My money, though not from the wind, is very like the wind.
25、鱼和熊掌不可兼得 , 但是单身和穷却可以 。
Fish and bear paws can not be shared, but single and poor can.
26、好马不吃回头草 , 所以好马总挨饿 。
Good horses don't eat the hay, so good horses are always hungry.
27、像你这样的女孩就不能嫁人 , 就算嫁了也是嫁祸于人 。
A girl like you can't marry, even if she does.
28、住在局部地区的人太可怜了 , 那里几乎天天下雨 。
The people living in some areas are so poor that it rains almost every day.
29、出来混 , 老婆迟早是要换的!
Come out and mix, wife is to change sooner or later!
30、想谈恋爱了 , 大家快劝劝我 。
If you want to fall in love, please advise me.
31、天冷了 , 如果你不能给我个拥抱 , 那就给我买个外套 。
It's cold. If you can't give me a hug, buy me a coat.
32、如果我死了 , 我的第一句话是:终于不用怕鬼了 。
If I die, my first sentence is: at last, I don't have to be afraid of ghosts.
33、什么时候想嫁人了就告诉我 , 我娶你!
When you want to marry, tell me, I marry you!
34、恋爱时 , 情话绵绵;结婚後 , 谎话连连 。
When in love, love is continuous; after marriage, lies are continuous.
35、即使这样 , 我也觉得能遇上你真的太好了 。
Even so, I think it's really great to meet you.
36、那些拧不开瓶盖的女的都是装的 , 你让她拆个快递试试 。
Those women who can't open the bottle caps are all packed. You can ask her to take a express delivery and try it.
37、跌倒了 , 爬起来再哭 。
Fall, get up and cry.
38、我要做你的心脏 , 你要是惹毛了我 , 我就不跳了 。
I want to be your heart. If you make me angry, I won't jump.
39、如果有钱也是一种错 , 那我情愿一错再错 。
If money is a mistake, I'd rather be wrong again and again.
40、全世界都在忙着谈恋爱 , 只有我在忙着写作业 。
The world is busy in love, only I am busy writing homework.
41、当初那个可爱的我早已不见 , 取而代之的是更可爱的我 。
At the beginning, I was not the lovely one, and I was replaced by the more lovely one.
42、真羡慕你 , 这么年轻就认识我了 。
I envy you. I know you so young.
43、如果男人不帮你穿上婚纱 , 你就送他件袈裟 。
If a man doesn't help you in a wedding dress, you'll send him a cassock.
44、情侣年年有 , 今年特别多 。
Lovers have each year, especially this year.
45、只因为在人群中多看了你几眼 , 从此便瞎了眼 。
Just because I saw you a few more in the crowd, I was blind from now on.
46、多数人的生活状态:间歇性踌躇满志 , 持续性混吃等死 。
Life status of most people: intermittent complacency, persistent mixed eating and death.
47、以前觉得很简单事 , 现在都变得好复杂了 。比如长头发 。
It used to be very simple, and now it's all getting better and more complicated. Like long hair.
48、我承受了这个年纪不该有的饭量 。
I have been fed up with the amount of food I shouldn't have at this age.
49、你那么甜 , 不适合风吹日晒 , 适合躺在我怀里 。
You are so sweet, not suitable for the wind and the sun, suitable for lying in my arms.
50、乌龟能够赛过兔 , 其实只是各走各的路 。
【朋友圈幽默的英文句子】Tortoises can race rabbits, but they only walk their own ways.

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